#FINDYOURPULSE is a campaign to inspire those who have had to quietly suffer from damaging emotional trauma after being over-powered, put down, shamed, and humiliated. By seeking out activities and challenges that evoke physical and mental confidence, we can begin to heal and move forward.
I had a client meeting with a group of art buyers for a corporate real estate group. The contract that we were meeting about had potential to be mutually advantageous in regard to the quality of art that I was offering at a fair price and the amount of wall space my art would cover at their properties. The meeting seemed to be ending on a positive note, but it took a dark turn. One of the developers became drunk and ornery. He explicitly expressed his desire for me to give a stranger oral sex while he watched. Quickly, this turned into his obsession. I excused myself and stepped aside to regroup. As I approached the table again, a stranger introduced himself to me, smirked and said, “your friend just explained what you’re about to be doing to me.” After I scoffed and replied, “no, that is not correct” the client who instigated this arrangement ensured that if I didn’t do this, he better never see an email from me in his inbox ever again… “I need this,” he said. I left shocked and humiliated… this was followed up by an even more deplorable string of text messages related to the solicitation of prostitution. The feelings of shame, self-doubt, self blame are very real and, because sexual harassment is such a misunderstood issue, there are not a lot of places to turn for support.
So in the mornings, I head to the ice rink and lace up my skates... it's freezing cold (like stepping into a walk-in freezer). I start stroking around the rink to warm my muscles and begin to practice jump after jump, spin after spin... I listen intently as my coach asks me to try to do something that I'm terrified to do. But I dig deep inside my heart and find the confidence that it takes to accomplish each physical and mental challenge. Each time my blade lands on the ice, I feel like I've taken one more step away from the anger and doubt.
This is how I've found my pulse to keep moving forward, beyond the agonizing self-doubt and shame that I feel for not having gotten over this yet... I just keep jumping higher and skating faster. I've found my pulse on the ice... where do you find your pulse?
Psychological manipulation is a type of social influence that aims to change the perception or behavior of others through underhanded, deceptive, or abusive tactics. From bullying to sexual harassment and verbal abuse, effects of this kind of manipulation lead to an array of negative emotions, i.e. depression, withdrawal, self deprecation, sleep disturbances.
Sexual harassment at work is defined as "unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature that explicitly or implicitly affect an individual’s employment, unreasonably interferes with an individual’s work performance; or creates an intimidating, hostile, or offensive work environment."
Sexual harassment at work costs employers through increased absenteeism and job turnover of victims, and it creates an atmosphere that leads to decreased group work productivity and lowered employee engagement. Click Here for more information from this resource.
Sexual Harassment has less to do with sex than with power. It is a way to keep women in their place; through harassment men devalue a woman's role in the work place by calling attention to her sexuality.
"Sexual harassment is a subtle rape, and rape is more about fear than sex," said Dr. John Gottman, a psychologist at the University of Washington. "Harassment is a way for a man to make a woman vulnerable." Click Here to read the article.
Effects of Sexual Harassment
Victims of sexual harassment feel intimidated, ashamed, angry and humiliated, and find it difficult to continue working under such circumstances. Sexual harassment may be traumatic for some and leave long term psychological effects.
Sexual harassment creates an unhealthy working environment. Employees’ morale is affected and work productivity decreases when employees are distracted by emotional or psychological abuse and concerns about their job security. Click Here for more information from this resource.
Man's Destruction of Nature:
A visual study of the effects of sexual harassment. Woman is nature. Man destroys nature.
"There is need for what might be called a human ecology, correctly understood. The deterioration of nature is in fact closely connected to the culture that shapes human coexistence: when “human ecology” is respected within society, environmental ecology also benefits. Just as human virtues are interrelated, such that the weakening of one places others at risk, so the ecological system is based on respect for a plan that affects both the health of society and its good relationship with nature." - Women in Theology